Show Notes:

Feedback that stings is where real growth happens. “The best feedback I’ve gotten is the stuff that hurt — like when my CIO asked, ‘Who’s in charge here?’ Or when my team told me I wasn’t showing up with the right energy. That’s the kind of feedback that forces you to look in the mirror. It stings because it’s true, and that’s where the real change happens.”

Leaders don’t eat last — they ensure the mission continues. “I believed that ‘leaders eat last’ stuff until a first sergeant pulled me aside and said, ‘Why are you in the back of my chow line?’ He made me realize that leaders don’t wait — they make sure there’s enough food for everyone, get their own, and then move on to the next mission. It’s about urgency and responsibility, not self-sacrifice.”

Real power is restraint. “Sometimes the best thing you can do as a leader is nothing. It’s not weakness — it’s power. There have been moments when everything was going wrong, and I could’ve gone in and started slitting throats. But I’ve learned that holding back, letting the rotten apples fall off the tree, and preserving the team’s confidence is the real strength.”

The best teams are built by A-players who bring in other A-players. “If I’m spending time and money to recruit A-players, I know they know four or five more people just like them. So we built a referral-based recruiting system where our best people bring in our next best people. It builds culture, loyalty, and scales the firm from the inside out.”

If you want to change the game, start by changing yourself. “Being a game changer means being able to change internally. You can’t change other people — they have to choose that. But you can change yourself. If you decide who you’re going to become, that’s when everything starts to shift.”